Word of the Day: yelly

This is a term that my darling daughters have invented. I suppose you might need a definition.

yelly /yel' ee/ adj : to express one's self in a manner that is unfriendly, and/or loud, usually in frustration or anger

I am accused of being yelly more often than I would like. Most of the time I can keep my cool, but if I haven't eaten when I should, I seem to loose control of my voice inflection, tone, and volume. Or, if several unpleasant things have happened to build me up to a point where a straw can break this camel's back, ooh, Mom is about to get yelly.

I hear my precious little ones accuse one another of being yelly sometimes, too. Just this morning I heard one daughter use a quiet but angry voice, and the other said, "You don't have to get yelly about it." Here, our word of the day was able to quickly diffuse the situation.

How to avoid being yelly? Well, I am working on this one... lots of prayer, taking deep breaths and short breaks from the situation. Also for me, since low blood sugar is often involved, making sure I have eaten. But when I realize I have waited too long to eat, I try to stay away from others until I have a snack or simply let my kids know I am hungry. They know what it means.

And when I screw up, I apologise. This happens too often, indicating my imperfection, but it helps me to recognise and correct my mistakes. No one likes to admit their wrong, so telling my kids I am sorry for over reacting is a powerful stimulator for my personal improvement. It is also helping them to know that I respect them, and that I feel they deserve to be treated well.

There are more great ideas over at Natural Mom's Talk Radio. At her blog, Carrie talks about the other feelings that might be behind our anger, and our yellyness. Identifying those feelings can help us to act more effectively instead of just blowing up.

Overall, though, getting a little yelly doesn't mean we are failures. It simply means we are humans with faults who will be forever seeking to refine ourselves. No matter how much better we are, there is always room for improvement. But we must remember to acknowledge our progress so that we will have the confidence to continue in our task of self help.

Kitchen Tip Tuesday: Groovy Pizza Cutter

I found this pizza cutter in the clearance bin at my local Kroger. My old one took a lot of elbow grease just to get through a soft crust. Our new one doesn't have a typical handle. It is sharp, and relatively safe and easy to use. We use it to cut everything but steak! It is easier, and quicker than the old fashioned knife and fork for waffles, pancakes, fried eggs, and whatever else my 7 year old needs to cut. Because of the design and the way you hold it, it's quite safe for her to use, liberating her and me at the same time! It also comes apart for easy cleaning. Thank you to Margie and Tammy and Kitchen Tip Tuesday for inspiring this post!

Fall Camping and Fishing

Fresh cool air, leaves changing colors, Fall; my favorite time to be outdoors. Our family recently returned from a weekend camping trip. We tried a new kind of roughing it. Normally we are with our regular camping buddies in the Appalachian Mountains or foothills near a trout stream with plenty of layers to keep warm on the cool nights. The sky is mostly obscured by tall trees filled with birds. Watching the creek, catching bugs and lizards, getting dirty, cooking and reading are the typical entertainment for the kids and me. I love it!

As I mentioned, this trip was different. Our camping companions were friends we never camped with before. They led us to some property on a lake that belonged to their family. It was plenty warmer, not so many trees, and the night sky was delightful. As for entertainment, there was some Boggle, and just hanging out. But by far fishing was the focus. The lake was new, and well stocked with young, stupid, easy to catch fish. Hubby said it was too easy to be fun after just a few minutes of casting and catching. I suppose a large part of the fun of fishing is the sitting still and waiting. My daughters, 7 and 9, were having the time of their lives. They kept their Daddy busy at first with baiting their hooks and releasing fish but he soon empowered them with an education and a barbless hook, and they were free.

They would catch crickets, use artificial baits, our hot dogs, even soften the dogs' food to put on a hook. Those fish seemed to bite anything. When she grew tired of this seemingly endless bait search, my youngest simply cast out an empty hook. (Now I am not a tall fish tale teller, so you can know this is true) She caught a fish on that hook! After that, she was not so fond of bait. She caught several fish on a sharp, shiny, looks nothing like fish food hook. I finally told her if we were going to pull the poor things from the lake, the least we could do was feed them something. I do enjoy fishing for dumb fish, but this took the bait! We will hopefully hit that fishing hole again next year when the precious little ignorant fish are even bigger and more fun to catch.

Now to plan a nice relaxing trip to the mountains...

Broccoli Salad

This made a nice addition to a recent birthday party meal. A friend of mine adds bacon bits to hers, I will be trying that in the future and the recipe reflects it, too!

Broccoli Salad
Serves 6

1 head fresh broccoli (about 1lb)
1/3 cup mayo
3 Tbsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp vinegar
1 1/2 tsp milk or yogurt
1/2 cup raisins

Optional:
1/4 c walnuts
1/4 cup onion
shredded carrot
chopped apples
bacon bits

Wash broccoli, cut into florets. Dice or shred the stems. Place in serving bowl.
In a small bowl, combine low fat mayo, sugar, vinegar and milk or yogurt. Mix well. Add to Broccoli.
Stir in raisins, walnuts and other options you choose.
Chill at least 2 hours before serving.

Self Driven Learning v/s Curriculum Schedules

Just wondering: do curriculum goals stifle spontaneous learning? Feeling the pressure of the end of the book looming at us, but man are the bugs so cool right now or what? We need to get our math done, but would rather play Yahtzee, or cards. My inner voice (and the hubby on the outside) says that's not enough. How hard it is to break free from how we were schooled. Contrary to public school belief, we are capable of learning things without it being forced upon us.

But still I am constantly torn between self driven learning and curriculum based learning. Even curriculum that uses living books can get dull when we are following someone else's schedule. So long as we learn everything we need to know, who cares what order its in? Am I trying to convince myself or someone else? As I would say to my daughters, "Yes."

Too Smart for Their Own Good

Yup, my kids are brilliant! Of course every mom thinks so, but I want to share a story about by intelligent youngsters. I have a code programmed into the TV so that the kids must ask before watching. Only I or my hubby know the code to allow access to one show at a time.

Well, a couple of months ago, the kids figured out how to set the TV to unlock all the restrictions so that they could watch for as long as they wanted without having to ask us to keep unlocking the TV. They would get permission to watch, and before I got to the TV to unlock it, they would set it to unlock all. Bam! Unrestricted boob tube until I figured it out. Brilliant my dear sisters! Until the youngest one, who cannot keep a secret, tells me what they are up to.

Fast forward to last weekend. I am doing my thing in the kitchen when little Blabber-mouth (name calling is in loving jest) approaches me with information. "Mom, we reset the password on the TV." Thoughts flashing through my mind: Wow, that took a lot of thought and planning!--how did they figure that out?--Dang! I need to discipline for this!?...
My little conspirator continues, "The new code is 1234." I laugh out loud as I hear her sister in the next room yell, " You weren't supposed to give her the code!"

Fortunately for me and unfortunately for the girls, Daddy was not too impressed by their creativity and ingenuity to implement a discipline. Apparently he had tried to watch something that was blocked and thought I had changed the code without telling him. He had gotten mad at me but hadn't yet remembered to fuss at me. He doled out an entire week of no TV except during the evening family time.

The moral? Intelligence is a gift that is best used for good, honest purposes.

Heart Strings

We are all attached to our parents with millions of strings. These strings are the supply line, the umbilical cord being the first, but many hang on after that one is cut. These supply lines remain to help us along. As independence grows, strings break and the strength of the cord is absorbed by the child helping her grow more and more independent. For instance a newborn is completely reliant upon her mother for everything, even to express when she is happy. But with that first smile, she is now able to express herself, and a string is broken.

These strings are wonderful things holding us together and giving us confidence to grow safely, knowing we'll be caught if we fall. If we venture too far too fast, we know the strings will catch us and bring us near the one who will hold, love, and forgive us, ready to help us try again.

When we are forced to develop faster that we are ready, many strings can break at once. How painful this can be. For as weaning gradually breaks one string at a time, we are meant to break away slowly into all realms of independence. Just as loosing a handful of hair hurts worse than just one, a sudden separation from our parents at the wrong time can be painful for all involved. Children aren't the only ones to hurt when strings are broken.

Occasionally broken strings hurt because part of our relationship is lost or changes. My oldest daughter recently spent a weekend at camp. None of the girls in her Girl Scout troop went with her. She was on her own to make new friends, and prove her independence. I was so proud of her. But I hurt so much to leave my baby with strangers. She is my baby, and I don't want her to grow up yet. I need for her to need me!

Wow those were powerful feelings! She could not look at me as her father, sister and I left her in the cabin with her friends to be. The tears in my eyes would have made her cry and she had to make a strong impression on her bunkmates. Her daddy, although kind to me, could not understand my tears as we walked back to the car. The closer I got to the car, an inner urge became stronger to run back and grab her and bring her safely home with me where she belonged. But she did not need that. And I no longer need her to need me as much.

I must have been holding on to too many strings, because several broke all at once, and it hurt. But all that love energy that was stored in those cords was absorbed by her. She came back so confident, and exhausted. After the fact, I am even more proud of my baby -er -child. She is ready to accomplish her own independence, and I would not want to stop her for the world. But as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our reunion was immersed in hugs, kisses and just hanging close to each other. I plan to hang on a long as I can.

Thursday the 12th

Realizing that today is Friday the 13th, I had to chuckle. Friday the thirteenth came early for me. It was Thursday the 12th (insert horror music.) Okay, so it wasn't a horrible day, but I did have an odd one.

It all began at 3:00 in the morning. My 2 dd's were sleeping over with their Granny, so it's just hubby and me snoozing. I wake to hear one of the dogs whining. Being that I would rather take him out in the middle of the night than clean up a mess in the morning, I head to the living room. The smell hits me in the hallway. As I turn on the lights and look more closely, there is a very loose bm smeared across the floor because this puppy's crate has no bottom and he can move it around the room. This did have a plus side: He wasn't sitting in his own crap. Half a roll of paper towels, and two trips outside to potty later, we are finally heading back to bed.

An hour later, the alarm goes off. After getting irritatingly few calls at my virtual call center job, I am taking the pups out to have diarrhea once more. Cramming in a breakfast, and rushing out the door to make it to our La Leche League meeting early. I am not leading, but I must get to the church early enough to alert my co-leader who has the key so she can let us in if no one is there. Someone is almost always there, so its not too big an issue for us.

My SUV won't start. Click, click... Call to hubby: "Can you bring me our spare truck that has been on loan there at your office for a week?" After removing a pipe rack from the bed of it he heads over. Call from hubby: "I just ran over a futon, I am checking to make sure there is no damage to the truck." Fortunately there's none. As we arrive back at his office so he can get back to work I get a call from my other co-leader who is leading the meeting. "Are you aware of the situation at the church?" Oh no, I think, the doors are locked and now it is too late for our other leader to bring the key due to her other commitments for today. But its not just the doors, the gate at the entrance to the parking lot is locked! AAAAHHHH!

Arriving 15 minutes late instead of early, I follow the caravan to the nearest public park, and the meeting ensues. From here the day becomes more normal. I enjoy playing with my friends' little ones while they enjoy the meeting. Perhaps the joy I feel from storytelling, fish watching and swing pushing brings me back on track. I do make it back to the pavilion in time to meet some of the new moms, and taste the delicious snack provided by our snack coordinator.

Refreshed, I'm off to gather my children from the loving arms of their Granny and head home to find no poo in the floor (insert happy dance). My darling sister comes to visit. I get to help her with her resume. I expect she will have a job soon with such an impressive work experience.

Oh, then there is the issue of Cloe and the boy with a crush at VBS. Oh, my goodness that is a whole post in itself. I suppose this one must be continued...

Friends in Their Time

Friends fade in and out of our lives. Those we know in one part of our lives seem to fall away in another season of life. During my working years, I loved my co-workers. They listened, laughed, scolded, shared recipes, vented their frustrations, and made days at the office more pleasant. Some of them even joined us on the weekends for the wilder times. I still love them.

Ironically they are the ones who welcomed me into my new life as a mother. They surprised me with a bountiful baby shower that made me feel so loved. Yet although they were welcoming me to motherhood, looking back I see it more as a farewell party. Now that I am a stay at home mom, the relationships are almost gone. I rarely see my old co-workers. They shared in my journey to adulthood, marriage, parenthood, and yet they are no longer a part of my life. I miss them, but I am so glad they were with me in their time.

I also had friends who showed up every weekend to celebrate the joys of youth and the fact that no boss could lord over us every day. We had the house band (neighbors who practiced in the garage) and we lived in the middle of our small town so that everyone knew where to go for the party. Those people were so much fun... I hope they have all grown up safely. Of course, when hubby and I had been married a couple of years, we began to party less. The leader of the band moved out of the downstairs apartment. Life settled down and none of those "friends" even call us anymore. It is no longer their time.

Then there are others who befriend us because of circumstances. Ladies I once led a breastfeeding group with have long since moved away, or found other endeavors. We once relished in one another's company; watching our young toddlers play and laugh together as we chatted with (hooray!) other adults. But that time was fleeting. We needed each other, and it was a great blessing to have those friendships in their time. I miss those ladies. Maybe I'll make a phone call or send an email just to say hey.

But there are the time tested friendships that have the deepest roots of history, promises, secrets, love, devotion. All that stuff acts like glue; holding us together no matter what part of our lives we're in. We have truly been through it all together. We know that even if it's months between the times we talk, our conversations will never feel awkward. No matter what choices we've made, how old our kids are, where we live, or our current need in life, we can always count on each other. It is to those friends that I must say, "It is always our time, thank you. I just can't wait until we get to talk again."

God answers prayer

Yes, Our Heavenly Father always hears our prayers. He sometimes answers them with a yes. The more we align our lives with His will, the more yes answers we'll get. That is a worthy goal for us flesh tethered folk here on Earth. But, often enough our desires are in His will.

It seems that God answers my prayers in a most obvious way when I reach a point of hopelessness. He can see that I am unable to accomplish a thing on my own, but He knows I must see that. When I reach that place where I am humble enough to let Him have the entire problem, willing to accept whatever He feels I need, that is when He allows me to see how He answers my prayer.

Recently I have been slothful in my duties as mother, teacher, homemaker, family accountant, and all the other jobs I have. It really all hinges on my waking early enough to get some things done before beginning our school day. It is just as much about bad habits, and that feeling of lostness I often get in the afternoon that causes me to miss opportunities to do important tasks.

Of course, I pray about these problems all the time, wondering what do I need to do. Finally I admitted to my God that I don't know what to do, and I give up trying. I asked Him to make me get up early and do my jobs. Then I backpedalled; saying He didn't need to make me (I was imagining Him allowing some terrible think to happen that would require me to do everything and more!) but I admitted failure, and the absolute need for Him.

One or two days later, He confronts me. He uses my husband to point out my faults. Andy is very tactful, and I accept the constructive criticism with some hurt feelings, but unable to deny that he's right. I acknowledge his feelings in the matter, and let him know that he has every right to feel that way. He tells me that if I could be fired for not doing these jobs, I would work harder at them. He was right on. He told me the same things I have been telling myself for months. Why did it have to come from his mouth? Why couldn't I take it to heart from my own chastising thought. Maybe my husband is more loving about my faults than I am. I am certainly my worst critic, and can make myself feel very bad about my mistakes. Andy can recognise them without making me feel so hopeless.

I had to let Andy know that God had used him to answer my prayers. God knew that my love for, and desire to please my husband was a source of powerful motivation for me. He knew how to meet my needs when I could not.

In Isaiah 55:8 & 9 the Lord tells us, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," He also says "For {as} the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Of course, if His ways and thoughts can be compared to a universe with outermost parts we cannot even see with our most powerful telescopes. And our ways are compared with the small spec of dust we live on. No wonder He is able to clearly see how to meet our needs. We need only to be willing to accept whatever He chooses for us. Why is it so hard to trust the Creator of the Universe who died for our freedom? It must be this flesh that keeps us bound to the Earth and sin. Freedom is Christ if we let Him be.

Keeping the kids room clean: Part 2

It's not happening! I have removed all but 4 stuffed animals and the outside toys (balls, jump ropes, etc.). Their room is still a mess! They refuse to put away dirty laundry, or put books back in the office. They keep their bed unmade, and ignore me when I speak. (Okay, that last one goes beyond a clean room, but I feel better having stated it.) The problem is bad habits. Charlotte Mason educators are very familiar with the idea of habits. My previous post about Character Training has my answer. I must commit to do my part in growing good family and individual habits in our house.

Speaking from experience, and a love for the Fly Lady, I can say that creating lasting good habits is vital to a happy life. God created us so that we could run on autopilot. When properly programmed we are getting the necessary things done without thinking about them. But when we run on autopilot with poor programming, that is where the problems begin. Old habits die hard. It is so much easier to start with a good habit than it is to have to change a bad one. But in order to give my children a strong habitual foundation, I must have good habits myself! The changes have to start with me.

Okay, I am going to pray harder, and submit more. I know I cannot do this myself. I need divine guidance. As for keeping the room clean: hopefully the girls and I can create habits that will make that a reality. Until then, the toys will stay held up in the attic to be earned back one at a time.

Cloe quote

Today's assignment was to write sentences with prepositional phrases. We then diagrammed the prepositional phrases to better see the parts of speech. For Cloe and me this was quite fun. One sentence she came up with impressed me much:

"Life among a thousand dead is joyful because he will see the streets of gold."

Her explanation of the sentence was deep for such a young one. She explained that those who are saved are like life, but those who are lost are already dead.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Fishing under the I-75 bridge in Atlanta

The water was very murky because of recent rains. It was lots clearer this past Sunday, but I have no pictures of that. It is a whole different world in the river, below the interstate compared with the high-rises that line the highway when you're driving. We fish upstream of the poo plant, but I am still glad that I have a layer of neoprene between me and the water!

The birds that fly by are awesome to watch and listen to. Huge and beautiful water birds (some have pelican like beaks), geese, ducks,and even some little tweetys swoop, swim and fly right near by as if I weren't there. It's fun to try and identify the trillium and herbs on the trail. Heck, I love going! And to top it all off, I am with the love of my life. It really doesn't get much better.

I did catch a litte sunfish, but I never got a trout in hand. I had two that self-released before I could get my hands on them. Better luck next time.

Keeping the kids room clean

Andy's fishing, and I am cleaning brass and the girls' room. Whew! It is a mess. Wish it were an easier task. It has been out of hand since before Christmas, with a few mock cleanings mingled in. Our new plan is to remove all but a small container of stuffed animals. Everything else is getting put out of sight. After 2 weeks of having a clean room the girls will be able to choose one toy or small container of related toys to return to their room. Then they again must show that they are willing to keep their room clean for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks of a clean room, they may again choose a toy to bring out. I hope to find that they forget about the toys that aren't important to them and they can be removed from the house. De-cluttering at its finest. Now I can't get this job done typing in my blog. Tune in later for an update on our cleaning adventure.

Lila quote

Just a quick quote from Lila:
Out of the blue, I hear:
"It's sweet being little!"
"Oh, yeah?"I ask.
"Yeah, you can fit in tiny spaces where big people can't fit."
How true that is. I can't even fit into my old jeans!

Mary and Martha Teach me Freedom!

This morning's In Touch with Charles Stanley devotional email reminds me that all I do in Christ (which should be everything from cleaning my floors to teaching Sunday School) can be done with the fuel of the Holy Spirit. How freeing! And it fits with part of the Preacher's sermon Sunday about experiencing the Joy of my salvation. (Psalm 51:12)



This lesson is gleaned from Luke 10 :38-42. Martha is the doer, and Mary is the worshiper. We all must be doers and we all need to be worshipers. The issue in this passage is the timing. Ecclesiastes tells us that there is "a time to every purpose under heaven." There is a time to worship and a time to get things done. Martha's doing was important, but her timing was a little off. Mary on the other hand had her timing right. What Dr. Stanley pointed out to me this morning was that the time of worship can be used to seek the fuel that is the Holy Spirit. Thus eliminating the need for us to accomplish everything within our own power. Happy day, I am not alone! I have the strength of God within me, if only I will seek it and allow Him to work through me.



I struggle with getting it all done sometimes. If I spend some time in the morning getting my focus on my Creator, then I should feel empowered all day long. This also makes me wonder. If something I am doing is draining me, maybe its because it is not part of God's plan for my life. Instead it is something that I think I should be doing. Or maybe I am trying to do it within my own power instead of letting Him do it through me as an empty vessel. Here I must submit, and let go of the things that are outside of His will for my life, or let Him be in charge of all parts of my life. This is just what I needed today!

Character training

Well, if anyone in our house needs to practice and implement good habits, its me. I am looking at using Notebooking Pages' Sowing Seeds of Character system. It is no doubt a great idea. The problem is with my current state of permissive parenting. Sure the girls must clean up in the kitchen their own dishes, and they can each cook a signature dish (if you count fried eggs and macaroni and cheese). But their room reminds me of a landfill! (And I believe that's where most of the stuff in it belongs.) I am allowing them to keep a messy room by not removing privileges for it, thus preventing them from wanting to clean up.

Something else that I would like to change is my relaxed attitude about computer and TV time. In my heart I want to limit them both, but I am so tired, and they are so easy... I let my better judgement fall by the wayside for the sake of convenience.

This Character teaching system is a plan to help me regulate the girls' rewards in life, and encourage good habits and character at the same time. I seems like a perfect fit. The truth is that I am not sure I have the self-discipline to make it happen. As a loving mom, I know I must sometimes withhold things from my children to teach them , and yet it is so hard to stop my precious babies from having the thing they want sometimes.

The biggest issue is my stick-to-it-iveness. I know myself, and I need help from God to keep up good habits. Spurgeon says in his devotinal that "You may force your way through anything with the leverage of prayer." Here is my answer. I can't, but my Lord can and He will through me. I must step aside and let Him teach my darling daughters. Time for prayer.