Heart Strings

We are all attached to our parents with millions of strings. These strings are the supply line, the umbilical cord being the first, but many hang on after that one is cut. These supply lines remain to help us along. As independence grows, strings break and the strength of the cord is absorbed by the child helping her grow more and more independent. For instance a newborn is completely reliant upon her mother for everything, even to express when she is happy. But with that first smile, she is now able to express herself, and a string is broken.

These strings are wonderful things holding us together and giving us confidence to grow safely, knowing we'll be caught if we fall. If we venture too far too fast, we know the strings will catch us and bring us near the one who will hold, love, and forgive us, ready to help us try again.

When we are forced to develop faster that we are ready, many strings can break at once. How painful this can be. For as weaning gradually breaks one string at a time, we are meant to break away slowly into all realms of independence. Just as loosing a handful of hair hurts worse than just one, a sudden separation from our parents at the wrong time can be painful for all involved. Children aren't the only ones to hurt when strings are broken.

Occasionally broken strings hurt because part of our relationship is lost or changes. My oldest daughter recently spent a weekend at camp. None of the girls in her Girl Scout troop went with her. She was on her own to make new friends, and prove her independence. I was so proud of her. But I hurt so much to leave my baby with strangers. She is my baby, and I don't want her to grow up yet. I need for her to need me!

Wow those were powerful feelings! She could not look at me as her father, sister and I left her in the cabin with her friends to be. The tears in my eyes would have made her cry and she had to make a strong impression on her bunkmates. Her daddy, although kind to me, could not understand my tears as we walked back to the car. The closer I got to the car, an inner urge became stronger to run back and grab her and bring her safely home with me where she belonged. But she did not need that. And I no longer need her to need me as much.

I must have been holding on to too many strings, because several broke all at once, and it hurt. But all that love energy that was stored in those cords was absorbed by her. She came back so confident, and exhausted. After the fact, I am even more proud of my baby -er -child. She is ready to accomplish her own independence, and I would not want to stop her for the world. But as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our reunion was immersed in hugs, kisses and just hanging close to each other. I plan to hang on a long as I can.