Fall Camping and Fishing

Fresh cool air, leaves changing colors, Fall; my favorite time to be outdoors. Our family recently returned from a weekend camping trip. We tried a new kind of roughing it. Normally we are with our regular camping buddies in the Appalachian Mountains or foothills near a trout stream with plenty of layers to keep warm on the cool nights. The sky is mostly obscured by tall trees filled with birds. Watching the creek, catching bugs and lizards, getting dirty, cooking and reading are the typical entertainment for the kids and me. I love it!

As I mentioned, this trip was different. Our camping companions were friends we never camped with before. They led us to some property on a lake that belonged to their family. It was plenty warmer, not so many trees, and the night sky was delightful. As for entertainment, there was some Boggle, and just hanging out. But by far fishing was the focus. The lake was new, and well stocked with young, stupid, easy to catch fish. Hubby said it was too easy to be fun after just a few minutes of casting and catching. I suppose a large part of the fun of fishing is the sitting still and waiting. My daughters, 7 and 9, were having the time of their lives. They kept their Daddy busy at first with baiting their hooks and releasing fish but he soon empowered them with an education and a barbless hook, and they were free.

They would catch crickets, use artificial baits, our hot dogs, even soften the dogs' food to put on a hook. Those fish seemed to bite anything. When she grew tired of this seemingly endless bait search, my youngest simply cast out an empty hook. (Now I am not a tall fish tale teller, so you can know this is true) She caught a fish on that hook! After that, she was not so fond of bait. She caught several fish on a sharp, shiny, looks nothing like fish food hook. I finally told her if we were going to pull the poor things from the lake, the least we could do was feed them something. I do enjoy fishing for dumb fish, but this took the bait! We will hopefully hit that fishing hole again next year when the precious little ignorant fish are even bigger and more fun to catch.

Now to plan a nice relaxing trip to the mountains...

Broccoli Salad

This made a nice addition to a recent birthday party meal. A friend of mine adds bacon bits to hers, I will be trying that in the future and the recipe reflects it, too!

Broccoli Salad
Serves 6

1 head fresh broccoli (about 1lb)
1/3 cup mayo
3 Tbsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp vinegar
1 1/2 tsp milk or yogurt
1/2 cup raisins

Optional:
1/4 c walnuts
1/4 cup onion
shredded carrot
chopped apples
bacon bits

Wash broccoli, cut into florets. Dice or shred the stems. Place in serving bowl.
In a small bowl, combine low fat mayo, sugar, vinegar and milk or yogurt. Mix well. Add to Broccoli.
Stir in raisins, walnuts and other options you choose.
Chill at least 2 hours before serving.

Self Driven Learning v/s Curriculum Schedules

Just wondering: do curriculum goals stifle spontaneous learning? Feeling the pressure of the end of the book looming at us, but man are the bugs so cool right now or what? We need to get our math done, but would rather play Yahtzee, or cards. My inner voice (and the hubby on the outside) says that's not enough. How hard it is to break free from how we were schooled. Contrary to public school belief, we are capable of learning things without it being forced upon us.

But still I am constantly torn between self driven learning and curriculum based learning. Even curriculum that uses living books can get dull when we are following someone else's schedule. So long as we learn everything we need to know, who cares what order its in? Am I trying to convince myself or someone else? As I would say to my daughters, "Yes."

Too Smart for Their Own Good

Yup, my kids are brilliant! Of course every mom thinks so, but I want to share a story about by intelligent youngsters. I have a code programmed into the TV so that the kids must ask before watching. Only I or my hubby know the code to allow access to one show at a time.

Well, a couple of months ago, the kids figured out how to set the TV to unlock all the restrictions so that they could watch for as long as they wanted without having to ask us to keep unlocking the TV. They would get permission to watch, and before I got to the TV to unlock it, they would set it to unlock all. Bam! Unrestricted boob tube until I figured it out. Brilliant my dear sisters! Until the youngest one, who cannot keep a secret, tells me what they are up to.

Fast forward to last weekend. I am doing my thing in the kitchen when little Blabber-mouth (name calling is in loving jest) approaches me with information. "Mom, we reset the password on the TV." Thoughts flashing through my mind: Wow, that took a lot of thought and planning!--how did they figure that out?--Dang! I need to discipline for this!?...
My little conspirator continues, "The new code is 1234." I laugh out loud as I hear her sister in the next room yell, " You weren't supposed to give her the code!"

Fortunately for me and unfortunately for the girls, Daddy was not too impressed by their creativity and ingenuity to implement a discipline. Apparently he had tried to watch something that was blocked and thought I had changed the code without telling him. He had gotten mad at me but hadn't yet remembered to fuss at me. He doled out an entire week of no TV except during the evening family time.

The moral? Intelligence is a gift that is best used for good, honest purposes.

Heart Strings

We are all attached to our parents with millions of strings. These strings are the supply line, the umbilical cord being the first, but many hang on after that one is cut. These supply lines remain to help us along. As independence grows, strings break and the strength of the cord is absorbed by the child helping her grow more and more independent. For instance a newborn is completely reliant upon her mother for everything, even to express when she is happy. But with that first smile, she is now able to express herself, and a string is broken.

These strings are wonderful things holding us together and giving us confidence to grow safely, knowing we'll be caught if we fall. If we venture too far too fast, we know the strings will catch us and bring us near the one who will hold, love, and forgive us, ready to help us try again.

When we are forced to develop faster that we are ready, many strings can break at once. How painful this can be. For as weaning gradually breaks one string at a time, we are meant to break away slowly into all realms of independence. Just as loosing a handful of hair hurts worse than just one, a sudden separation from our parents at the wrong time can be painful for all involved. Children aren't the only ones to hurt when strings are broken.

Occasionally broken strings hurt because part of our relationship is lost or changes. My oldest daughter recently spent a weekend at camp. None of the girls in her Girl Scout troop went with her. She was on her own to make new friends, and prove her independence. I was so proud of her. But I hurt so much to leave my baby with strangers. She is my baby, and I don't want her to grow up yet. I need for her to need me!

Wow those were powerful feelings! She could not look at me as her father, sister and I left her in the cabin with her friends to be. The tears in my eyes would have made her cry and she had to make a strong impression on her bunkmates. Her daddy, although kind to me, could not understand my tears as we walked back to the car. The closer I got to the car, an inner urge became stronger to run back and grab her and bring her safely home with me where she belonged. But she did not need that. And I no longer need her to need me as much.

I must have been holding on to too many strings, because several broke all at once, and it hurt. But all that love energy that was stored in those cords was absorbed by her. She came back so confident, and exhausted. After the fact, I am even more proud of my baby -er -child. She is ready to accomplish her own independence, and I would not want to stop her for the world. But as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our reunion was immersed in hugs, kisses and just hanging close to each other. I plan to hang on a long as I can.

Thursday the 12th

Realizing that today is Friday the 13th, I had to chuckle. Friday the thirteenth came early for me. It was Thursday the 12th (insert horror music.) Okay, so it wasn't a horrible day, but I did have an odd one.

It all began at 3:00 in the morning. My 2 dd's were sleeping over with their Granny, so it's just hubby and me snoozing. I wake to hear one of the dogs whining. Being that I would rather take him out in the middle of the night than clean up a mess in the morning, I head to the living room. The smell hits me in the hallway. As I turn on the lights and look more closely, there is a very loose bm smeared across the floor because this puppy's crate has no bottom and he can move it around the room. This did have a plus side: He wasn't sitting in his own crap. Half a roll of paper towels, and two trips outside to potty later, we are finally heading back to bed.

An hour later, the alarm goes off. After getting irritatingly few calls at my virtual call center job, I am taking the pups out to have diarrhea once more. Cramming in a breakfast, and rushing out the door to make it to our La Leche League meeting early. I am not leading, but I must get to the church early enough to alert my co-leader who has the key so she can let us in if no one is there. Someone is almost always there, so its not too big an issue for us.

My SUV won't start. Click, click... Call to hubby: "Can you bring me our spare truck that has been on loan there at your office for a week?" After removing a pipe rack from the bed of it he heads over. Call from hubby: "I just ran over a futon, I am checking to make sure there is no damage to the truck." Fortunately there's none. As we arrive back at his office so he can get back to work I get a call from my other co-leader who is leading the meeting. "Are you aware of the situation at the church?" Oh no, I think, the doors are locked and now it is too late for our other leader to bring the key due to her other commitments for today. But its not just the doors, the gate at the entrance to the parking lot is locked! AAAAHHHH!

Arriving 15 minutes late instead of early, I follow the caravan to the nearest public park, and the meeting ensues. From here the day becomes more normal. I enjoy playing with my friends' little ones while they enjoy the meeting. Perhaps the joy I feel from storytelling, fish watching and swing pushing brings me back on track. I do make it back to the pavilion in time to meet some of the new moms, and taste the delicious snack provided by our snack coordinator.

Refreshed, I'm off to gather my children from the loving arms of their Granny and head home to find no poo in the floor (insert happy dance). My darling sister comes to visit. I get to help her with her resume. I expect she will have a job soon with such an impressive work experience.

Oh, then there is the issue of Cloe and the boy with a crush at VBS. Oh, my goodness that is a whole post in itself. I suppose this one must be continued...

Friends in Their Time

Friends fade in and out of our lives. Those we know in one part of our lives seem to fall away in another season of life. During my working years, I loved my co-workers. They listened, laughed, scolded, shared recipes, vented their frustrations, and made days at the office more pleasant. Some of them even joined us on the weekends for the wilder times. I still love them.

Ironically they are the ones who welcomed me into my new life as a mother. They surprised me with a bountiful baby shower that made me feel so loved. Yet although they were welcoming me to motherhood, looking back I see it more as a farewell party. Now that I am a stay at home mom, the relationships are almost gone. I rarely see my old co-workers. They shared in my journey to adulthood, marriage, parenthood, and yet they are no longer a part of my life. I miss them, but I am so glad they were with me in their time.

I also had friends who showed up every weekend to celebrate the joys of youth and the fact that no boss could lord over us every day. We had the house band (neighbors who practiced in the garage) and we lived in the middle of our small town so that everyone knew where to go for the party. Those people were so much fun... I hope they have all grown up safely. Of course, when hubby and I had been married a couple of years, we began to party less. The leader of the band moved out of the downstairs apartment. Life settled down and none of those "friends" even call us anymore. It is no longer their time.

Then there are others who befriend us because of circumstances. Ladies I once led a breastfeeding group with have long since moved away, or found other endeavors. We once relished in one another's company; watching our young toddlers play and laugh together as we chatted with (hooray!) other adults. But that time was fleeting. We needed each other, and it was a great blessing to have those friendships in their time. I miss those ladies. Maybe I'll make a phone call or send an email just to say hey.

But there are the time tested friendships that have the deepest roots of history, promises, secrets, love, devotion. All that stuff acts like glue; holding us together no matter what part of our lives we're in. We have truly been through it all together. We know that even if it's months between the times we talk, our conversations will never feel awkward. No matter what choices we've made, how old our kids are, where we live, or our current need in life, we can always count on each other. It is to those friends that I must say, "It is always our time, thank you. I just can't wait until we get to talk again."